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If we run out of gas, you’re pushin’, bitch! Not to compare the holocaust to watching this film, but comparisons between a turd of a film like this, and other turds of films the man has cobbled together thanks to studio money, sticks in my craw. To say Drive Angry is the “best film he’s directed yet” is like saying Auschwitz was one of the better concentration camps. Lussier, best known as director of dreck like Dracula 2000, White Noise: The Light and My Bloody Valentine (in 3D, no less), seems to have carved a niche for himself out of giving the world more crappy films per lifetime than is actually possible – not even Ed Wood managed to subvert the cinematic medium as much as this hack has. The plot, such as it is, is awful, and by that I mean scratch-your-eyes-out-terrible, written by the director of this clusterf*ck, Patrick Lussier and his accomplice Todd Farmer. I mean, turd? From the awesomely lame concept, to the dire, half-witted performances from the entire cast (with the exception of William Fichtner, who looks like he’s having an absolute blast in this!) and rounding out with the horrendous editing and sheer lack of interest anybody behind the camera appeared to have in making… oh, I don’t know… a good film: Drive Angry is one of the greatest examples of shithouse B-movies done so badly they make Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus look like Citizen Kane. Where to begin with such a terrible film. You mean I got out of those Twilight films for this shit? Together, they drive through violence and mayhem, explosions and carnage, to thwart the apocalyptic plan of King’s evil ascension. Befriending young waitress Piper (Amber Heard) and getting her to tag along on his wild adventures, Milton is also pursued by a mysterious man known only as The Accountant (William Fichtner), as well as various local law enforcement officials. John Milton (Nicolas Cage) has escaped from Hell to hunt down the satanic Jonah King (Billy Burke), the man who has stolen his daughters child in order to sacrifice it and bring about Hell On Earth. If there’s a Hell on Earth, it’s being Nicolas Cage’s agent…. Therefore, prepare for a long form review of one of the worst films I’ve seen in the last week or so: Drive Angry. I was so tempted to do this film as one of our Mini Reviews, but I feel so violated by the imagery and concepts I’ve just witnessed, I need to purge myself of this… trash – I refuse to continue to call this turd a film – so I can continue my exploration of the fine medium of cinema unburdened. Drive Angry is one of those films that probably seemed like a good idea at the time, if you think “the time” was that crazy night in Vegas when you were high on acid and the hookers were doing a threesome in the second bedroom while you bathed in a recently slaughtered ox’s blood. What on Earth can Hollywood hope to gain by promoting the man’s sheer lack of cinematic credibility? Yes, Cage once won an Oscar for Best Actor, but then, so did Robert DeNiro, and all he’s done since then is terribly stupid Parenting comedies, dull Cop Dramas and less-than-stellar “horror” films. Beyond the pale for awfulness, it is hopefully another nail in the derelict career of one Nicolas Cage, a man for whom it seems no role is too stupid, nor any script too dreadfully inept.
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What we think : I’m sorry, could you repeat the question?ĭrive Angry is a terrible film. I think that’s what was happening in this movie.
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Synopsis: Some dude driving a car escapes from hell, returns to Earth to hunt down the people who stole his dead daughters baby. Principal Cast : Nicolas Cage, William Fichtner, Amber Heard, Billy Burke, David Morse, Tom Atkins.Īpprox Running Time : Far too f***ing long, man.